28 January 2008

Monster Houses Land

I imagined chetti-land to be a land of mouth-watery cuisines and massive houses guarded by octogenarian grannys. It was all as I expected. What I did not expect was the near extinction of mankind in this region. I reached Sivagangai by saturday afternoon to find the town deserted. Most of the people of the town reside in Madurai and commute to work everyday. They pack and head for home in the weekends. The queen, who is a descendant of Rani Velu Naachiyar, lives in her palace in Sivagangai, the sivagangai cheemai, a neglected fortress which is slowly being turned into a new age shopping complex.

Remains of Sivagangai Cheemai
My next stop was Kaalayar Koil - a temple that was discontinued while under construction due to a British invasion. We know the rest of the story, don't we? - The stories of Muthu Vaduga Natha Thevar and Maruthu Pandiyars.

kumar offered to show me around his house if I managed to reach Kottayur before sunset. It seemed very funny to me. Of all the things that he could show me, he chooses to show his house? And how long will it take to go around a house? Nevertheless I got on to the next available bus to Karaikudi. Kottayur is an auto-ride away from Karaikudi. One of the better things in this part of the state is that there are no gender specific seats in the bus and you can actually go and sit beside any pretty lady you like; if you find any.

Karaikudi was no different than Sivagangai. There were hardly any people. But the place was swarmed with policemen. Apparently, there had been a mob clash that afternoon over the destruction of a statue erected by a particular sect. The wide clean roads of Karaikudi narrowed to bumpy dark alleys as we neared Kottayur.

Kottayur deserves to be called Kottayur (fort-town). Every building was massive and grand. I realised only a little while later that they were not just massive but were steeped in the grandiose history of the chettiyars.

In a distant past, the chettis were traders who resided on the southern coastline of Tamilnadu. They travelled across the world trading their goods and bringing back wealth and memories from distant lands. It however was not always a happy ending. They came home to find their homes and families washed away by the violent seas. They then collectively decided to search and settle in a place that was far away from the sea; in a place that was too dry for a flood. And that is how they founded chetti-land.

The chettis are so paranoid about floods that their homes are built on basements that are nearly 10 feet high. It is immaterial even if they live in a place that is as dry as Karaikudi. It reminds me to warn everyone traveling to Karakudi to carry a sunscreen, a lipguard and a bottle full of water.

All Karaikudi homes are similar in plan. They only differ in sizes. Some are big and the others are bigger. They usually stretch the entire distance between two parallel streets. But one thing that is common to all these homes is that they all leave an undeletable impression on you. They are grand, their intricate artwork leaves you awe stuck and their sizes humble you. They are so insurmountable that I struggle to find the energy and words to describe them to you. I therefore am forced to abandon my story telling midway and let my pictures tell you the rest of it.












ps: kumar's wedding was at kumari's house. kumar did not offer anything to chance that he tied all the three knots by himself; inspite of being offered to help.

And by the way, kumari is also known as devi.

16 January 2008

Wedding Bells

kumar is getting married! I didn't believe it either and I still don't. It took me a day to come to terms with it and realise that even kumar could get married. How can I forget the evenings at 6.5 when kumar stood coffee mug in hand, lips stuck to each other for hours, as mahesh and tatek went about kadala vuvathufying, oblivious to the presence of a giant six footer nodding at everything the two said to each other. Or, the innumerable bets san and ka had on each other to see if they could muster up and talk to 40-some aunties. Or, stories of kumar being rejected by chetti beauties chosen by his grandma because they were frightened to death everytime ka yelped out his american 'yeayh'. However, looking at it retrospectively, if only could he had gone past his 'zzup dude, howya doin', then I am sure he could have floored every female of every species on earth. But let us not talk about what could have happened and see what to lookout from this. The first best thing is that if kumar can, san, so can you. The next best thing is that I am going to chetti-land for ka's wedding!

But before all that...

My hearty congratulations to kumar and kumari on their wedding!

8 January 2008

Don Biscuits

raja: This biscuit tastes good. And... it is healthy.
don god balan: It tastes like dog biscuit.
raja: How do you know?
don god balan: I eat dog biscuits.

Note: Reproduced with permission from The Don.

6 January 2008

Territorial Behaviour

raja: why the @#$% is he sleeping in my room?
prashanth: when a dog pisses in a certain spot, the spot becomes its territory.

3 January 2008

Starved

CNN-IBN Correspondent: Are Indians Sex starved?
kiran: (gnarling) YESSS....

When the poll concluded half an hour later, it was announced that 93% of the respondents were kirans.