Cubicle change

After the analyse-my-urine incident, I decided I have had enough and decided to get a job that did not have anything to do with analysing. So I consulted a dictionary for the antonym of analyse. The dictionary suggested that I get a job that did not have any thinking to do. That was around the time when Jinku said his manager did not have any masala in his head.

For those of you who are not familiar with the role of masala in the head; masala is the primary intelligence ingredient in an Indian head. The more masala in your head, the more intelligent you are. Getting masala in your head is not genetic but is by eating spicy food. Masala is infact the base that is used to make any spicy dish. So the more spicy food you eat, the more intelligent you become.

I am not making up a story here. Statistics shows that more people get into the IITs from Andra Pradesh than any other state in the world. And IITs are supposedly the toughest colleges to get into at an undergraduate level and requires high intelligence levels. It is also in Andra Pradesh that you get the spiciest cuisines in India (you infact have a nose-watering experience than a mouth-watering experience). If you can not piece-up the rest of the co-relation, you should crank up the spice a bit in your dinner tonight.

Anyway, Jinku is not the first person to curse that his manager did not have masala. So I decided that becoming a manager was the best way to get away from thinking and therefore analysing.

What resulted was a flurry of applications to all internal jobs that had a manager in the title. My project manager interview lasted close to 2 hours. I had decided earlier that I will steer the interview in such a way that the interviewer only asked me questions to which I knew the answers. But it was a disaster. Every time I tried to steer the interview, I was outmaneuvered. I mean I answered questions such as why do you want to do this job? (Should I have told him my analyse-my-urine story?), what are your long term career objectives? (I don't think I will ever get away from this question) and what experience do you have in project management (Well! I project managed to run a half marathon). I have no idea on what I answered and I was not thinking at all.

On the way back to my desk, ruing my fortunes, I realised that if the interview did not allow me to think, then there would certainly be absolutely no thinking to be done on the job. The perfect answer to my analyst problems!

The first day at the new job started with a meeting at 8. I presume the alarm did not go off. Half way to the office, I realised I had forgotten to take my laptop with me. I saved the embarrassment and went back to get it. But it is not until 10 minutes into the office I realised I left back the keys to the desk. I couldn't have asked for a better start!