Pigeons under the floodlight

Over the years I have seen several pigeons fluttering around in day-night cricket matches played under floodlights. While I must have mouthed the cameraman to turn back to the match, I have always been short of asking the pigeons what the hell they were doing at this time of the night.

I now understand why. No, I have not been bit by a pigeon and I have not become pigeon-man. The bright sunny summer is gone now and in place darkness and gloom have encircled the place I live. To add to the eeriness, I, from time to time, add my bit of background music with the clattering of my teeth.

But that aside,the clocks are moved back an hour in winter. Some call it day light saving or something like that while many intellectual men like me suspect that the real reason is behind the Big Ben that needs a battery change. There is no advantage changing the clocks because it is dark all through the day anyway - it is dark when you wake up, it is dark when you go to office and it is dark when you come back from office. The only time you see sunlight is on the weekends.

Although the time change seems to have done nothing to the natives, it is causing havoc to my system. For instance, I am waking up at 3AM when logically I should be waking up at 5AM even with the time change. I am hungry for dinner at 5PM but don't feel sleepy until 11PM like usual. I tried to convince my manager that I don't work night-shifts and so will come to office only when there is sunlight. He can't seem to get my logic.

My inventive mind is planning to create artificial daylight in my own little room with the sodium vapour street lamp from the next street. There is some planning to be done to get it materialised. I have to steal the lamp and bring it home, hammer it on to the 6 inch wall that separates my room from my neighbours' and draw power from them to keep the lamp running 12 hours a day.

But getting back to the pigeons, I now sympathise with the pigeons for having to battle out blinding floodlights when they are supposed to be making out with pigeons of the opposite sex.

May be I should help the pigeons. I should write a note to PETA that day-night cricket is preventing Pigeon Ecology Thriving Activities and use the pigeons to deliver my message. But I am afraid PETA will sue the pigeons for using PETA's acronym without paying them license fees.

Amidst all this world ending problems I realised that the only way I can continue to watch cricket happening in India because of the time differences is when there are day-night matches. Now that is a bigger world ending problem.

So there is now a slight change in policy. I suggest that we catch all these menacing pigeons that distract us from the game, fry them, sell them and make money out of it. I suggest we call the venture KFP - Karumathur Fried Pigeons. The world needs such bright ideas during these testing recession times.