wateri thoughts

Last night my roommates wanted me to drink with them. Well, drinking is good. It makes me happy and I always aspire to be happy. There was one problem though. It was raining hard and the roads were slushy. That is bad news as I hate to touch water even on a sweltering day. I am hydrophobic. It is not that I detest diving into a swimming pool but I loathe the sensation of the first drop of water touching my skin. It is why I leave toilet seats up. My roommate showers, speckles the seat with ice cold water and leaves for office. me; the first thing I do every morning is pick up my newspaper and run to the pot. god, how do I explain that feeling - the joy of the bull climbing another 300 points intertwined with the pain of cold water piercing my bottom is inexplicable.

Moving back from my abhorrence to contact with water on the outside to my water for the inside plan; I convinced one of my roommates to do the buying for all of us. I felt bad for him to ride up in the rain, push past dirty men, squeeze in to the counter, harangue with the salesman that beer prices are not RPL shares to change 20% every week, to finally get hold of bottles that are 30 degrees warm.

That is when a fairy appeared.
Isabel: 'I am an angel from heaven. I am looking for directions. The roads here don’t match the blue prints we have up there.'
me: 'yeah, lot of illegal constructions or may be you bought your map when the previous government was in place. We here change street names to city names everytime there is a government change. Anyway, where do you want to go?'
Isabel: 'I would like to meet a doctor to get my boobies bigger. That’s the fashion again back up there now.'
me: 'hmm.. I never had to make any-thing of mine bigger, so I really do not know who you should go to. But why don’t you call just dial. They may be able to help.'
Isabel: 'Thanks very much. I am indebted for your help. I would like to do something for you. Do you wish to ask something? I am a fairy and I can do magical things.'

I have re-rehearsed this scene several times in my dreams.
Starfish: 'Make a wish'
myself: 'I wish for three wishes.'
Starfish swore that I was the devil and smacked me so hard with her wand that a horn popped out of my head.

I didn’t want to get smacked another time. So I told Isabel a more practical problem. She listened intently and said 'I am impressed that you have thought not just for yourself but for millions of other people. I shall be able to suggest an idea but it is left up to you to execute it. Why don’t you start a beer distribution company? Just like these pizza delivery guys. All you will need is a back office operator answering calls sitting atop of a giant freezer, a couple of guys or girls and second-hand motorcycles. Doing some rough math, I can see you will pocket close to 50K a month initially and it isn’t a bad start. You can always expand to other cities or diversify to other services. And when you are dead, you will get an automatic entry to heaven as you would be known as the great man who quenched the thirst of millions.'
me: 'That looks like a good idea. I shall give it a thought. Thanks for the advice.'
Isabel:' you are welcome. I better get going. Your warm beer has arrived.'
me: 'okay. And...'
Isabel: ' And what?'
me: 'Will you come around here just before you go back home? I have never seen an implant before. ;)'