You don't say no when someone pays half your travel cost to travel 5000 miles for her wedding. It was my first Kingfisher flight. The first thing you will notice as you enter the aircraft is that unlike BA and Jet, there are no air-hosters. It was an all female servicing crew. The next thing you will notice is that unlike IA, they are all pretty. There was one similarity though - in all of these flights, all the air hostess have an inch thick foundation cream on their faces.
I was later told that the women were hand picked by Mallya. If I were in Mallya's position, I would have picked the same girls. But instead of having them work in the London-Heathrow aircraft, I would have them work in my private jet. It is just like what Mukund said he would do if he were put in a closed room with 'that' pretty actress; naked to the skin.
My luck got better when Sandhya sat next to me. Otherwise, how else would I have known that kids these days are so electronics savvy. I was very amazed at her seamless navigation on the touchscreen interface. The hand controller to the touchscreen distracted me away from Sandhya's dexterity and the pretty ladies shuffling around. This hand controller looked like a PS3 controller and there were games on the TV to top it. But my joy was short lived as I managed to load test the software yet again and crash the system.
Sir, would you like a beer?
I just had two and I wanted to say no. But when a pretty lady asks you repeatedly, the 'no' in the brain comes out as 'sure' from the mouth. Two more beers later I was just short of snoring when two mischievous minions who sat behind me pulled into full action. Their mum should have become immune to their screams over the years as she slept peacefully midst all the pandemonium. They didn't stop there. They repeatedly switched on and off other passengers' overhead reading lamps until they were out of their seats. I was out of my seat too. Beauty does not come with brains, doesn't it? Otherwise why would the air hostess give me so many beers, when, ideally she should have poured a couple of shots of JD for the kids and got them to sleep.
If the kids were one problem, the hand controller was another. The controller snug under the left armrest. So every time you moved a bit in your sleep, you either accidentally pressed the overhead reading lamp or the service button that summons the air hostess. While I liked to press just one of them repeatedly, I could not control the outcome of my twisting and turning as I unsuccessfully tried to sleep for the rest of the flight.
I disembarked from the plane, copied answers to a swine flu questionnaire from my neighbour and waited impatiently for the next 8 hours before I boarded another plane. It was the most turbulent flight ever in my life. But that story on another day...
Life lesson 1308: Everything happens for the good. If the boys had not woken me up at 2 AM in the morning, (when it was 6 30 AM at Madurai) I would have been jet lagged for the next 3 days and missed the wedding.
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