Ring a bell

Before the time of cellphones, we had a landline phone in our home. It was quite handy. It provided midnight updates on leaked question papers and helped plan mid day movies after bunking school. I could see from my mum's body language that she was not convinced with the new device; especially when girls called her son. She managed to find out even if the girls spoke in a man-ish voice.

And then came cellphones. You had to buy one than face the indignation from the voices that echoed 'So you don't have a cellphone?'

My first cellphone was the legendary blue brick. It was the most useful cellphone I have had. My mom endlessly played the snake game and my sister threatened to break my head with it if I didn't share my pocket money with her. I, on the other hand, kept staring at it for months, waiting for it to ring. It taught me patience.

Many years later, cellphones have only become useless. They no longer are large, heavy and strong. So I can't moonlight anymore as a burglar armed with a cellphone and threaten people. I can no longer call pretty girls under the pretext of having forgotten my home number and so called them to ask if they remembered it by any chance.

On contrary, I overheard a couple of 142+ IQ women discuss that cellphones are nature's devices to counter the epidermic called men. They said cellphones emanate certain magic rays that kill men's 'little armies' which help them make more men. Infact, they said it is a grand design that began in the 17th century when the English travelled to most parts of the world. Of the many things that the English took with them, long pants with pockets was one of them. It took the English two and half centuries to make the whole world wear pants. Soon came the cellphones and the cellphones went into men's pockets. The rest is yet to be seen.

As I walk along the corridor with my personal phone in my left pocket and my office phone in my right pocket, I wonder if women are hand in glove with nature. Or why would they buy pouches and handbags for their cellphones inspite of wearing pants? I bet they already have an underground secret cloning facility to keep them multiplied.