A wise man once told me that the brain can process or hold only a certain amount of data and this is an independent constant for each individual. That is why some women are able to hold on to information that is 20 years old and other men are unable to simultaneously munch their breakfasts while watching two and half men. But the individual constant is a fixed entity for each individual. That is, the sum of the total amount of data one can hold on to one's head and the total amount of processing the head can do is a constant at one particular instant. My abysmal record at remembering names should indicate something to you all about my brain.
The law applies to me but with a clause. That is, the constant is not restricted to the head but to the whole body. Which explains why I get my blog ideas when my IQ is drained through my ears in meetings at the office or when I am contributing my humble bit to global warming from the toilet.
Last Saturday, I had an English breakfast, a Japanese lunch and an Italian dinner. I did not know the English, the Japanese and the Italians did not get along very well and no sooner there was a world war. The bloodbath and destruction caused led to my spending several hours in the closed confines on my closet. As my body got rid of the warring parties and more of itself, it had more processing power than it had had in a long time; which led to the serendipitous discovery of the truth behind karma and rebirth.
According to version 8 and later versions of Hinduism, every man and woman will have 9 lives to live. Depending on what each one does in each of these lives, one will be either be promoted or demoted in the food cycle (Applies only to Hinduism believing Hindus). So if you did certain things you can keep your human status and eat chicken. However, if you did other things, you will be demoted to a chicken and other humans will eat you. By the time you complete your allotted 9 lives, all your parts would have worn out. So you are sent to a place popularly known as the hell where you will be thrown into a sea of fire to be melted and reprocessed along with other people who have completed their 9 lives. This new molten people will be used to generate more brand-new 9-life species.
This is something that many people already know. But what they do not know is that you do not die in one life to go to another. Rajini almost spilt the beans in one of the songs in Baasha when he speaks about dividing one's life in years of 8. What really happens is that there are 9 facets of life and each of these lasts for 8 years (which explains the cumulative average lifespan of species at 72 years). The allegory to dogs or cats or cows or chicken is only what you closest resemble to in each of these facets.
The period when you are shit scared about anything and everything is when you are a chicken, from where comes the expression 'you are such a chicken'.
The period when you don't do any work but sit and shit in the same place and keep eating all day is when you are a domesticated cow in a cowshed.
The period of life when you graze around women is when you are a goat. It is likely for the grazers develop facial hair growth, especially under the chin during this period.
The period when no amount of humiliation would dislodge you is when you are a buffalo.
The period after you wake up in a stranger's apartment with 2 teeth missing after a 12 Jack Daniels night and you swear never to drink again is when you are a camel.
The period when you are unsure of what you want to say to people and so just hang around nervously is when you are a cat. Thus the expression 'cat on the wall'.
The period when you carry your girlfriends' shopping bags while she shops and shops; and shops is when you are a mule.
The period when mid-life crisis engulfs you and you spend all your night chatting with 30 year-old truck drivers masquerading as 18 year old damsels is when you are an owl.
The period when you are too old to walk that when you cross a zebra crossing you hold up the traffic for a mile is when you are a snail.
The period when you have posted close to 100 such crappy posts is when you have ceased all your usefulness and are going to hell.
1 comment:
Haha. And he laughed
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